If you read this.....It's not your fault

Last night as I was falling asleep and in that place that is closer to the dreaming world, I heard a voice. It was a woman's voice, and it was one of the purest voices I have ever heard. Clear, gentle, soft, kind, open, loving, and I am sure it wasn't a voice of someone I knew here on the Earth plane. The lovely voice said "It's not your fault", and that was all she said.

Now, I have to come clean and share that I have had plenty of mystical experience in my day. Some being out of body flying around, lucid dreams, visitations from various beings (known and unknown), other dimensional spheres opening into plain sight (that is a total trip), and some other fascinatingly bizarre shit that if I told you, you would maybe think I was a bit off my rocker, which some probably already think such! And, I often hear soft whispering voices letting me know a helpful guiding message or two as well. This feels normal to me because in my experiences the 'most of the time' invisible worlds seem way more real and dependable to me. Those other realms are rich with unmistakable vividness, there's a pure feeling of simply knowing of the true self and where one belongs in the order of all things, a crystal clear sense of purposefully directed consciousness, and an absolute undeniable truth that permeates every point of that consciousness. (I'm sure your soul remembers at least a little of all that whilst reading.)

But this message last night was curious. I had to ponder why she was telling me this specifically. Over the years, I feel I have cleared much of my shame that can be sort of automatic being a human. To explain a bit further on why I feel that is a common human experience and have taken the time to clear that all up in myself: If you hadn't noticed, we are kind of instilled and hard wired mostly by organized religion and the overall culture to feel we have no real place here, that we are born in original sin and that there is a controlling, punishing god who doesn't really like us anyway and that said God should be feared, all of which fucks us from the start.

The foundational message is basically that we are puppeted peons and have no right to exist. Now that there is some crazy assed thought, because why would something that essentially created humans feel so pissed about having done so? Just to be an asshole to it's own creation? That is just about the most ridiculous though concoction I have ever heard. Which leads me to believe that only a human could have come up with such a concoction. That there is called free will. But what's the best is we also have the choice to agree and align with what thoughts we'd like to believe. That there is free will at it's finest. Again: choose wisely.

But all that sloppy God thought leads to a set point of human made shame that we are even alive and have to constantly somehow feel bad about that. I know what I exemplified as religion here is primarily a Catholic/ Christian world view/belief structure stance, with all the confessions and hail Mary's, the endless begging Jesus for forgiveness, and doing insane things in the name of religion in the first place. But there has always been this human made Man-God which doesn't leave much room for us to just chill and enjoy the pleasures of our life and this planet of astounding beauty. Pleasure? It's supposed to be about experiencing pleasure? Yep, it is, but what 'they' have told you, either directly or indirectly, is that this life is definitely NOT supposed to be about that.

My feeling is that it's that ongoing shame that eats away at the psyche in that denial of pleasure that just makes people do weird shit that disturbs the whole. They possibly feel some deep seeded shame for enjoying themselves or their life because they are told they're not allowed to, and that they'll go to hell or another scary place if they do. Then it just backfires and they rebel like a cranky teenager in that idea, and behave in such ways that can make the world and humans a very confusing thing. And on top of that, all that shame and guilt probably makes this Man-God have to work 24/7 overtime and that's probably why the worldwide clergy says this Man-God is so annoyed with humans anyways and is sending it's wrath to shut the humans up. That never seems to work though right? I am decidedly creating a theory of man-kind.

O.k. enough of talking about a mean, annoyed Man-God.

More recently, I have also felt the comfort of feeling I truly belong here and that I have a mission and I will execute that mission before I travel onward. And I will continue to do that unapologetically and shame-free. I also like to remind myself often that we are all not officially from here, but came through a whole other persons body, and will leave our own body someday, and therefore we are just visiting and cruising around for awhile doing only the things we can do on this physical gorgeous Earth ball.

And there is so much pleasure to be had here. I mean, just stepping outside into the sun after a long winter of rain can be the most pleasurable experience there is. And the color green on all the trees and hills? And the sky as blue as the sea? And the feeling of the cool wind on your skin? And the hug from your beloved or friend? And making love in the late afternoon? And sipping that first sip of warm beverage in the morning? And that perfect meal with all the right flavors that your mouth and body loves? Music? Dancing? Deviled eggs? Q-Tips? And smiling just because? All pleasure my darlings! ALL PLEASURE.

So, with this whole collection via personal theory and deduction, I think what the messenger was really reminding me of last night as she whispered that in my ear was this pleasure I feel is not my fault. It's what IS, and what I now know is that it wants to rush in and fill my life so totally. It's not meant to feel guilty about. Fuck guilt! Fuck shame!

In other words......It's not my fault "Pleasure is the New Black." It's not my fault that life wants me to enjoy it more fully even if the whole rest of the world is looking like a big old mess. It's not my fault if others don't want to join in on the pleasure ride. It's not my fault if life wants to greet me with awesomeness and wants me to feel grateful and in wonder about it all. It's just not my fault. And you know what?....I am sticking to it, because I realize it's actually pleasures fault and the pleasure is truly mine. I hope it's yours too.