Let The Games Begin

Yes, I continue searching out the answers and/or revelations to the mystery of this reality. This story proves again to be the sort of ongoing evidence to what I perceive as a 'piece' of the fascinating discoveries one can find if one is seeking with eyes open for the mystery to reveal itself (or at least have them 1/2 to 3/4 of the way open, because I admit, I do like baby eye opening steps when it comes to cracking any mystery.)  

I do have some guidance though, as I'm doing two separate 30 day experiment based games. I am using two books by the same author, Pam Grout to give me context and structure to follow. Trust me when I say it's good for me to have some mind organization when it comes to experimentation within the mysterious. One book is "Thank and Grow Rich" and the other is "E2 ( or E-Squared)- Nine DIY Energy Experiments to Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality." Both are creatively written and she is totally down to earth, and has a very cool sense of humor, which is awesome when dealing with the woo-woo kind of world. Although I don't think she considers these books woo-woo as much as practical workbooks to the current scientific factoids in the realms of the almighty science of quantum physics. I simply cannot wait until any science admits the missing link all along has been an all intelligent consciousness and our active existence, participation, and awakening conscious use of it. .

Because I choose to believe in the missing link they are searching for, I align with what Pam speaks to, flows in, and has personal experience with as well. Both books in their own cool way basically involve intentional interaction with the great and powerful Universe/quantum field/the G word, or whatever you choose to call it. The point of the games/experiments are to find definite and obvious results by consciously playing the game! Grok?

Yesterday my mission was to find examples of synchronization and obvious connections in experience or things. In other words it was a shout out to be presented with such insight. Now as you can imagine, that kept my mind and heart in full enjoyable engagement all day, and I found I needed a lot of hydration. This is because when you're presented with such an adventure-activity of looking for the connections, it can take some serious focus of energy. But once you get yourself going, things just start popping up and you start to get all surprised and thrilled you're perceiving in this way. Well at least I get thrilled, which is sucha great word any which way you use it! 

This is where the photo comes in: 

Early in the day I was strolling along on one of my favorite paths. As I was pondering about the games of the day, I began intentionally opening myself to that kind of "seeing", which is both sort of subtly receptive yet determinedly focused. I recall thinking something like this, "I wonder how everything actually fits beautifully together? I wonder if I will have the privilege of seeing the deeper connection in each of the symbols that clearly cross my path today?" 

Also my personal rules I made up for this first day were:

• Rule #1: Have a good solid sense of curiosity. 
• Rule #2: Don't "try" too hard, just let the symbols present themselves. 

So I felt I was starting off fairly well and on the right track with the questions I was presenting. And as soon as those thoughts passed through my mind, I look down and there they were, the first symbols had instantaneously arrived: My very own two puzzle pieces! (Btw, in case you were wondering they don't fit together cuz I instantly tried that.) I'll have to say, I thought this was a very creative, humorous, and solid first symbol to land upon. After all, you gotta have a couple of the pieces in hand to get the whole life puzzle thing rollin' into motion anyway. Didn't it take seven days and 2.6 billion puzzle pieces for the world to be created in the biblical creation story? And as I see it, with these games being a fresh view and a feeling of a clean slate for me, I'm only getting started making the pieces fit just right in some seeming whole succinct big picture life way. I'll enjoy what I know will be a wildly fascinating ride.

The rest of the day unfolded in similar surprising pieces. This symbol, and then that brief 'take me off guard' experience, just presented themselves what seemed like in back to back sequence, and with that little neon light around them saying "Hello! I'm a part of the symbolic, synchronized story being told to you today!" And then I had to put it all together at the end of the day. I won't get too detailed on all the pieces, as it's somewhat personal to me. But I can tell you without a doubt, they did line up and share with me some amazing insights and confirming realization that again there is such orchestration in the seeming chaos. And it most certainly depends on how you intend to experience your day. And if not anything else, it simply reminds me that IT is sooooooooooo much vaster, intelligent, mysteriously awesome than the small mind we often perceive from, and IT is ever so willing to play in the most miraculous ways with us. But what it comes down to is that we have to be open and wanting to see and experience the mystery. Not for the "answers" per say, but for the SURPRISE! It's well worth playing the game. And guess what?.... Everyone wins.

Are We Anonymous?

Today I was listening to the podcast Beautiful Stories of Anonymous People. It's a cool podcast made by the comedian Chris Gethard in which people call in and just have a conversation with him for an exact hour. The deal and rules are that throughout the call, Chris does not know their name, where they live, etc.. Total anonymity. The person can talk about whatever they want (I'm sure within some reason), and they can hang up any time before the hour is finished.

Under this framework of "rules" I find the conversations intriguing, and quite interesting. And because of the anonymity of the caller, it adds for a certain amount of free, unhindered disclosure about things in the callers lives that they might not have talked about with any one else in such a way. Some have secrets to share, some have amazing happenings that they have walked through, and some just chat it up as things come up on their minds in the moment.

The nice thing is that Chris offers consistent permission to just talk about whatever they want because it's their hour. I will tell you that A LOT can be covered in an hour when people feel safe, open up, and choose to share something of themselves. My impression each time, is that Chris is a solid and neutral person to chat with, and besides that his voice is comforting and engaging. He feels authentic in his curiosity about the strangers he's speaking with, and he seems to draw out something cool in these random people he chats with. From my experience, it's kind of a gift to be able to do that with others. He adds a calming tone and inviting platform. Props!

But with most podcasts there are also advertisements with sponsors of the show. So today as he takes a break to do these shouts from the sponsors, and I hear a brand new ad that took me sort of aback. It was for a new sponsor website/company that was for people that wanted to just have a conversation with a live person with a real voice and listening ear at the other end. the calls, somewhat like the podcast was completely anonymous, but the folks working there couldn't wait to talk with you!

This was their selling angle: It was because these days most people are just mostly texting rather than actually calling one another, and most people don't have time these days for a real voice to voice conversation. But more so it was because most people don't want to "bother their friends" if they actually tried to call them on the phone to talk. But this new and up and coming way of relationship was that if you needed to talk, there was someone who would listen like a friend, but you wouldn't have to know them nor would they have to know you. Yep, everyone is off the hook. Just pay for a chat, no one you know will be bothered.

And I speak to this specifically here because today I heard a guy on the show tell Chris about some very bottom line life stuff about himself, his family, his religious faith, and a very personal secret and choice he might have been needing to seriously make that held his whole life and self integrity lingering in the middle. I wanted him to have a voice to voice with the people that needed to know this secret of his. I wanted him to be honest with himself, with them, and take the risk of everything going completely awry so he could be liberated into his own self contentment.

I know some cultural structures, especially fundamental religious ones, can make it very difficult for people to step out in their own truths and be willing to make the break to live outside that familiar structure. But for me, it was a feeling of being closeted with him and knowing his secret was for the many many potential people listening to the call, but not for the ones who would likely want or need to know the most.

I don't know how many people we or I could anonymously or personally chat with before someone would say "Hey! Tell the truth!" But, I do think if that dude had called a real friend he knew and talked voice to voice and had the courage to share this information in real personal conversation with someone he cared about and that cared about him, that might have been what he was honestly told. Maybe he wasn't ready for that. And I get that too. Sometimes it just takes time, it takes those small steps. Maybe for him to just begin to share the secret within anonymity would somehow begin to unhinge the binds that held him. I hope it was a catalyst for the change I felt he really wanted to make. Perhaps just the validation of our secrets being known without being known ourselves can do more wonders than currently known.

The reason I was mostly taken aback was because even though this does seem like it's becoming real thing/issue these days that people don't have time or maybe even actually want to talk voice to voice, I so didn't want it to be that real where people feel they can't actually sit down with someone they love, or call a real friend and have a real and honest conversation because of fear of bothering a friend. Aren't we supposed to "bother" our friends sometimes with a phone call? Aren't we wanting our friends to "bother" us by calling? Or, am I that passe and out of the loop and bothering my friends too much now? I will admit, I do my fair share of more texting than calling these days, but I do also take the time to talk voice to voice because to me it's a value to be in that kind of visceral connection and intimacy with my friends.

Chris's show doesn't claim to be a therapy session, nor does he try to fix anyone, but a place to just have a spontaneous conversation. I'm sure he doesn't and I don't see it as a replacement for voice to voice with close people in the callers lives, but the fact that that ad was there and if it's coming to that more people than not feel they can't confide in those they know personally, my feeling is there's something to be considered. And that is that as a whole, we might need to rethink how we are feeling about screen connection vs voice.Yes, it's a real conversation to continue to consider. Hopefully voice to voice. Let the revelation re-start.

So, in closure, and final thoughts......I suppose if people are just really lonely and need someone or anyone to share their thoughts with that's one thing, but if it's for fear of interrupting a friends life, then that's another. I like to and do put more faith in the people I call my friends. And I pretty much know they want me to call them and I absolutely know I want them to call me if a secret or a life trouble is too heavy to bear. I don't want to give up the faith and absolute knowing that the sound of our voices nurture others and hearing others voices can actually soothe the places that are jagged in us. Those voices are like warm clean loving healing water on a wound at times. Perhaps that's what Chris's voice did today for that gentleman......

Oh, and for the record, I am going to try to get on the show and have a convo with Chris too! But not because I need to confide any secrets, or not call a friend to bother them.......I just want my turn to be beautifully anonymous.

Unhinge the Doors

Yes. I am blogging once again. Yes, this is my official blog and this is where I will attempt to write my thoughts and ponderings from here on out. I have primarily shared my writings on Facebook, but that forum has seemed to tapper off a bit for me. A notch of inner inspiration removed. I figure it's just too many words for that little wall, when most folks at this point just put up photos of lost dogs, political confusion, Buddha memes, and a flower or two from the spring garden. All cool prevalent stuff, but as we well know, there's kind of a common predictability there, and I am personally tired of the commonly predictable. I suppose it always has been that way there in FB land, so maybe I'm just a late bloomer to this fact. Maybe blogging has always been the correct forum for my ginormous diatribes on life and insights of subtle personal amusement. Who knows?

 So yes, I'm blogging here again too because I can "mostly" guarantee it's going to be so much more unpredictable if someone decides to read my writing at my Blogger site as opposed to my Facebook wall. In other words, I ain't going to be holding much back! No fucking way. Blog world is free domain! Im thinking I will say everything I wanted to but didn't say on FB, and revel in the liberation of free speech. I will also revel freely with the assumption no one will read any of these, so I can just have at it. I will most likely be entertaining myself alone, but I have no shame in doing so. This is my pledge.

 BUT.....the pledge has an addendum too: I do have three blogs here from 2011/12 that I totally forgot about, so I have a small head start in the blogging realm. I also found, through looking at my stats on the blogs, that I had roughly 250 views on them over the years they have been up here. Naturally I was surprised at that and I thought, "Hmmmmm...... Who the hell are those 244, people that have stumbled upon and read my stuff besides the maybe the at max, 6 friends of mine who read my ponderings back in the day?" The bottom line is, I want to write, seems perhaps 250 people want to read, so I am entertaining myself and possibly another. That stated, I also pledge to continue to write blogs in the case that 1 in 250 reads them and finds a small slice of continued entertainment in this little world of blog.

 After that rather long prelude, I will get to the topic of blogness that I want to ponder further on this evening. Because, yes folks, it is after all "Time to Ponder":

As I sat and had afternoon tea today, I found myself pondering about the door/life changes metaphor humans use. You know the one......When one door closes, another is opening. One door opening, another closing. So on and so forth. And then there's the joke about that doors are supposed to close and open, because that's how they work, or something fucking hilarious like that. Or if a door closes open a window. Blah blah....I can't stop laughing! (not really.)

 But my thought today is that it's not the best analogy really at all if you would rather add some ease and grace into your life, because if you hadn't noticed before, doors open and close in front of us everyday, all day long, over and over and over again. Push, pull, click, slam, knock, swoosh, automatic door sliding, ding dong! It's too much to think of life being like doors in this constant opening/closing cycle. It can become quite overwhelming because we might even begin to forget which one is closing and which is opening. It's down right confusing.

 So, upon this pondering today, I decided that I prefer when one of my doors is opening, that I then choose to put a door stopper under it for awhile and let the breeze in. Then, when I'm damn well ready to close it, I will. I might even decide to unhinge the whole thing too. Put the door aside for awhile and see what comes in and goes out on it's own. It's my choice, because it's my door and it's my life! Ponder that......

Yogis laughing and one hand clapping

Wow. We've made it! Made it to the next day, moment, year, lifetime of our existence. 2012....my oh my.... what is to come? Let's wait and see until the Mayan calendar actually ends on December 21st. Until then just sit back and relax because we have some territory to cover. I could put a fancy quote in at this point, but my whole blog will actually revolve around a short video (link is below) and I will tell you why.

It is because this year, after watching this said video several times in 24 hours, that decidedly 2012 will be about laughing my ass off. It will be a year of throwing away some of the built up crap that has been stored in the cells of seriousness and sorrow of victimhood. It will be a year of coming together and possibly dancing into trance like states of exhalation. It will no longer be about the economy, or the occupation of _________ (fill in the blank), or about all the shit we've endured at the mercy of others. I'm thinkin' more and more it's about the souls freedom and the reveling in some unspoken remembrance of childlike states of simplistic innocence. Well at least that's what my astrological inner compass says.

Back to the video. You could perhaps scroll down and watch it now and get into that giddy feeling state of what I am speaking to, because afterall we need to do some of this layer by layer. But if you choose to hold out, I will dive a bit deeper into why I have lost all sense of wanting to take it all with such seriousness at this point. It is because I have had the realization that the greatest people seem to know that humor and laughter above all else transcends the mundane and the complex and even the "spiritual". It makes all things plain as day and as they really are. It makes the effort seem like swinging on a park swing set. It make the day in day out seem like licking lollipops and then sharing that same lollipop with a friend. (Yeah, I do mean sharing spit.) It makes for a moment of letting it fall away, and just letting the laughter bubble up and out. It makes for a good well ridden dirt bike, and a dirty at the knees pair of corduroys. Yes, I was a tomboy in the 70's.

Here's the moment where I will finally come full circle while directing you to the video and take a step into the "spiritual" aspect of humor. Or the humorous aspect of spirituality rather. There is an iconic laughing Buddha after all! I would like to speak about, and possibly for the Buddha himself for a bit because I spent my new years eve at Spirit Rock Buddhists retreat center chanting, dancing, and listening to Dharma talks mixed with confusing guided meditation and finally finding myself punch drunk laughing about the reverence of it all.

I came to the conclusion after making jokes with friends during this sacred celebration about the Buddists clapping with one hand, that the Buddha was in fact a happy man being he created Nirvana and all. I decided he would have laughed his ass off at this video. I believe if he was hip and down with the times, he would have considered it as funny as the people laughing at the yogis themselves....and perhaps that is what all those gurus and people we've bowed down to all this time need. A good laughing at. Not because they are not hip to laughing their asses off, but because it would and will continue bring us all down to an equality that we really are, and in my humble opinion, seems to be required now. Laughing together into oblivion. "We are ONE but not the SAME" as U2 said so eloquently. Just imagine all of us laughing that hard all at once.....Pretty cool. All different laughs merging into oneness. Now picture Buddah, Jesus, La Virgin De Guadalupe, Shiva, Moses, and your dog or cat doing that with us human. Funny shit huh?

So, there will be a LAUGH IN starting now. We will occupy the funny bone until we are all sitting happily in a circle with that relaxed smile that settles after a good round of hilarity. See you there. Oh, and did I mention it's contagious?

Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMC1_RH_b3k

Shem

James Brown and the Theory of Entropy

Disclaimer: The title I chose might have little to do with what I am going to write. And, I am happy to discover within that after some prior thought, James Brown and Entropy might end up being a very entertaining conversation worth having at some point. Ponder that and I'll get back to you.

Tonight is a night for a short travel through what I will call The Theory of Undivided Equals. Now this is not a topic many will be familiar because as I find myself back at the land of blog, I also find that I make these things up as I go, and well, I just found out that includes my own theories. Perhaps some might also call this annoying, because why would a woman sitting in a cozy wooded cottage alone have any right to make up her own theories? Well, I would say that it is alot more entertaining than turning on a television and watching someone get liposuction and then nip tuck their face or breasts into something humanly unrecognizable. My theory on that is called (and it's a long one so bare with me)....."You Are One Crazy Cracker! and if you so think that you need to cut, suck and slash away your Goddess given flesh to make yourself feel more solid then you should just stand on your head for three days while looking in the mirror then stand up quickly look in the mirror again and then continue on with your life." That should pretty much do it with reforming of perception and leave you with the lack of desire to change it up. (I prefer run on sentences.)

I would say that Undivided Equals has primarily to do with how one would perceive a balance of two so in place that you can hardly notice a plural state. That there is something essential about equilibrium that it is the very thing that we as humans are always questing for. That we, at times, are so skewed in our perception of ourselves, nature, "the other", and our focus so bent at times, that we finally might find that we no longer feel connected to any of it. That we experience division. So, the Undivided Equal is the place of experiencing that somewhere beyond that skew is the true sight, the true balance, the true and essential place of rest and calm.

In example. There is the Sloth and the tree is wraps around. The Sloth is just about the slowest moving living creature at about 10 ft per minute. I would have chosen the turtle to rant about, but it is a little too common for this mind wander. I suppose if you watch a Sloth for some time you might just fall into a fuzzy slow motion state yourself and then over a slow moving time of your own, you might even think that it is actually a part of the tree it is kickin' it in. It sort of becomes the space it inhabits. It merges with, it holds a balance in it's stillness. It is has then become an Undivided Equal.

I would say in partial summary that the "One Crazy Cracker" theory is more likely the complete opposite of this Undivided Equal theory. That if we so divide against our own flesh that we feel that never ending quest to equalibriate, then we will always be longing for something which cannot be found from the outside in. And really after Sloths and James Brown, and the question of Entropy (which I totally question), I believe that is what the true Undivided Equal is to us humans.... Ourselves united with ourselves. Habitating our own skin in the essential nature of restful and loving balance.

Please feel free to do what you will with this theory.

And please, please find the time to hug a Sloth.

Shem

I do have something to say...

So there was this moment this morning upon awakening when I thought, I in fact do still have something to say. And then I thought, no I still do have a whole lot to say. I felt up until this morning that my mute sign has been up and I have not had the pleasure of articulation of words at my demand. But, seems there's suddenly a storage unit in my mind-soul that has possibly been unlocked and ready for all the things to be moved out. Dusted off, loaded up in the Uhaul of the spoken word, and taken to it's new place of residence.....my very own blog space. Oddly enough it feels like home for the moment.

I never actually thought I would arrive here, but I think I've been spending more time with myself than comfortable. Having also taken to sobriety (of the red wine persuasion) as of late, I have nothing to do but ponder. "What do you ponder Shem?" you might ask......"Well in my humble and likely contrary opinion, some quiet interesting things!" I would kindly answer. So, now I will take you for a little ride into those if you choose to continue reading.

I will make a list of ponderizations this first time round so you might begin to get used to the feeling of taking a thought one at a time and swishing it around in your mind.( BTW: That is my definition of pondering.) I will keep it as clear as possible, and you might find yourself having a bit of a response, but I welcome those just the same. We can consider this a conversation, a correspondence of ponderings, a romp down the rabbit hole of multidimensional travel if you will. Give yourself free reign to ponder along, and I will too because I will be making these up as I go along. Off the cuff ponderings come in the best of flavors!

#1 Did you ever consider that just because there are these things called clocks and there are numbers on them that the concept of time is human made solely to keep track of motion of experience in space and does not at all mean that the numbers have anything to do with that concept. Clocks-Numbers=Experience of Motion.

(I know....that one can take awhile to wrap around, and will also likely change your perception of reality...did mine!)

#2 Have you ever watched a small child for a long time and then thought, "I was once that small". You were. Weird huh?

#3 We are floating around on a large ball in the middle of a black star dimpled vastness and we think it's normal, or we sometimes don't think about that at all. Well now we do!

#4 If you believe in reincarnation: I like to think that when a mother dies at childbirth it is likely that she reincarnates as her own child she just gave birth to. Life=Death=Life

#5 Where do you come from? You aren't from the Earth, you arrived here and you will leave here. Where will you go from here?

O.k. that should be a mind-full. I hope you've enjoyed your time here in my new little speak easy. I will be back and have more to say.............

Keep it REAL.

Shem

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